In the next few days, my oldest son turns 12, which is hard to believe considering he was only 3 weeks ago, or so it feels. For some reason, I remember clearly when I turned 12. As I was on the verge of my teen years, I felt like I was basically an adult and remember thinking I should be allowed to sit at the table with the adults. Looking back, even though I wouldn’t say my teen years were rough, they were definitely a confusing season. So I would lie if I said I’m not nervous about my kids approaching that season of life. I don’t say this because there is anything in them that worries me, but my kids are growing up in a cultural moment far different from the one I did. Their emotional landscape is shaped by forces that didn’t exist a generation ago.
One of the areas I am particularly concerned about is that kids are growing up in a world where the rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts are skyrocketing. So as parents, it is important we prepare our children to navigate an already very emotionally unhealthy world.
For this reason, I decided to explore this topic. Today, I want to start by understanding the anxiety epidemic and the factors that exacerbate it. Then in the weeks that follow I want to explore how the gospel equips us to shepherd our children in this area. I am doing this for my own family’s benefit, but if you find it helpful, you’re welcome to join me in this journey.
See the Cultural Landscape Clearly
If you’ve talked to me in the last couple of years about this topic, you would know I really like the work of Jonathan Haidt. He does a fantastic job diagnosing some of the cultural issues we are facing, but since he isn’t a believer, I feel like the solutions he offers fall a little short at times. His book “The Anxious Generation”, though, is particularly helpful in this topic. In it, he explains that over the past decade, there has been a dramatic shift in childhood itself. He calls it “The Great Rewiring of Childhood.”1 He says two things happened at once:
Children became overprotected in the real world. In the name of safety, my generation allows less free play, and tends to over-supervise children.
On the other hand, children became under-protected in the virtual world, gaining 24/7 access to algorithm-driven platforms designed to keep their attention.
Rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm began to climb sharply around 2012, the year smartphones and social media became widespread among teens. I feel for those who had to parent during that era, because no one could have predicted how serious the consequences would be of allowing children to grow up with screens. Those of us parenting today no longer have that excuse. It is well documented how screens and social media in particular have wreaked havoc on the emotions of Gen Z.
Instagram for example, fuels comparison through curated images and face filters which have shaped our youth self-image and heightened their insecurity. TikTok has fragmented their attention and ability to focus in addition to catastrophizing the world around them. Teens are constantly fed exaggerated or misinformed “end of the world” narratives. With that said, social media is only one of the ingredients of this anxiety crisis.
Polarized politics and international wars coming on the tail of a worldwide pandemic have created a cultural mood of anxiety and fear. On top of that, in an age where Columbine-like happen on a weekly basis and our kids are having to do drills and lockdowns on a regular basis, it is no wonder anxiety is skyrocketing.
This is the world our children are growing up in. Identifying it clearly isn’t alarmist, it’s an important part of our parenting. But if we stop here, all we’re left with is fear and a pressure to perform, and neither of those is enough to steady our children’s souls.
What the Gospel tells us about anxiety
The good news is that Jesus steps into anxious worlds. Even though he came into a smartphoneless world in a very different cultural setting, he entered a time marked by political turmoil, violence, and fear. His people lived under foreign occupation, with constant threats of war, cultural confusion, and religious tension. Into that world, Jesus didn’t offer mere coping techniques. He offered Himself.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)
This is crucial for us as parents to believe. The peace Jesus gives is not circumstantial. It’s not dependent on the absence of threats, smartphones, misinformation, or cultural instability. His peace flows from His unchanging character and victorious reign. When He says, “Let not your hearts be troubled,” He’s inviting us to rest in Him.
Our kids don’t need parents who can control every area of their lives. That’s exhausting, and frankly, impossible. No amount of rule-setting, monitoring apps, or careful planning can shield them completely from an anxious world. What they do need are parents who see the world clearly but live anchored in the Prince of Peace.
They need moms and dads who:
Believe the sovereignty of and kindness of God. We cannot model that which we don’t believe ourselves.
Model where real security is found. We don’t have to do this through perfectly managed schedules or screen limits, but in modeling trust in a sovereign Savior who holds all things together (Col. 1:17).
Bring their children’s fears to Jesus in prayer, teaching them to cast their anxieties on Him because He cares for them (1 Pet. 5:7).
Live out Philippians 4:7. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:7: And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (ESV)
Demonstrate that Christ’s peace can guard hearts and minds even when the cultural ground shakes beneath us.
When we as parents are rooted in Christ’s peace, we become living signposts of stability for our children. Our home doesn’t have to be perfect or even free from all chaos to be a place of refuge. It simply needs to be one where the presence of Jesus is taken seriously, spoken of often, and leaned on daily.
Jesus has not abandoned this anxious generation. His peace isn’t fragile or theoretical. It is real, and it is powerful enough to steady both us and our children. In a world that feeds on fear, Christian families have the privilege of embodying a different story, one where anxiety does not have the final word because Christ does.
Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (New York: Penguin Press, 2024)