What is the place for screens in the Christian Home?

Digital Discipleship Series

One of the questions I have to deal with often, not only as a pastor but also as a parent, is the question of what the place is for screens in the life of my family? In the world we live in, screens are inevitable. The debate is no longer whether our kids will have access to screens, but when and how they will have access to screens? By screens, I mean not only the devices like TV’s, computers, tablets, cell phones, etc… but the content that comes through the pieces of glass we so adore.

In the zeitgeist, the term black mirror has become commonplace. The term was coined by Charlie Brooker, a TV producer. The moment your smartphone, tablet, or TV screen goes dark and you see your own reflection staring back at you? That’s a black mirror. Brooker has explained that the term itself refers to these screens that dominate our lives. When they’re off, they become eerie, lifeless mirrors. We all know exactly what he is talking about. We have all seen the distorted reflection of our face when the phone or tablet turns off. The problem is that these machines also have the ability to distort the way we view ourselves, our neighbor, and life in general. 

Over the next several weeks, we’ll explore topics like setting healthy screen rhythms, teaching discernment in a digital age, cultivating responsibility, and finding rest amidst digital distraction. Today, we start by addressing the foundational question: What exactly is the place for screens in a Christian home?

Photo by Jessica Lewis 🦋 thepaintedsquare on Unsplash

I. Screens Have a Place, But It’s Not the Center

In 1 Corinthians 6:12, Paul recites what many scholars believe was a well-known saying in Corinthian culture: “All things are lawful for me.” But he immediately qualifies it by adding, “But not all things are helpful.” I remember growing up and latching onto that first part—the idea that I can do all things, that nothing is off limits. And it seems that was exactly the mindset in Corinth. That’s likely why Paul repeats the phrase twice in his letter. In chapter 6, he reminds the believers that just because something is permitted doesn’t mean it’s beneficial. Then later, in chapter 10, he sharpens the warning: don’t let your freedom lead to bondage. What begins as liberty can quietly become slavery. And that precisely is the warning we should heed when it comes to thinking about the place of screens in our home. 

In his book The Tech-Wise Family, Andy Crouch reminds us that technology is in its proper place when it exists on the “edges” of our family life, not at the center. But if your family is anything like mine, technology often behaves more like a vine. Without a trellis to guide it, it doesn’t stay put; it creeps into every corner of life, quietly taking over more than it should.

So, it is important that we find rhythms to fight against the encroachment of technology into the spaces that are meant to be centered on God and family. Screens should enrich family life and relationships, not isolate or fragment us. Families can intentionally create spaces and times where screens enhance connection (e.g., movie nights) rather than inhibit it (e.g., dinner table).

One of the rules my wife and I have discussed, but to be honest, I have yet to enforce consistently, is having no-screen spaces and times. At the Moscoso home, we treasure eating meals together as a family, but I have been guilty of allowing my phone and the tyranny of urgency and busyness to steal from me valuable time with my family. 

“Habits are a pattern of repeated action that are ultimately formational (for good or bad, realized or not) and this, ultimately, is worship.” Justin Whitmel Earley, The Common Rule

II. Screens Shape Our Hearts and Habits

Understanding the impact habits have on our hearts is foundational to the life of the believer. In his book The Common Rule, Justin Whitmel Earley says, “Habits are a pattern of repeated action that are ultimately formational (for good or bad, realized or not) and this, ultimately, is worship.” And yet, how often do you find yourself reaching out for your phone as the first action of your day? Whether we want it or not, this is a habit that shapes our hearts and desires.

I, personally, have to avoid looking at my phone before I pray or read Scripture. I know that the moment I reach for my phone, it’s game over. Our screens have the ability to reorient our attention and hearts. So it is a good diagnostic question to ask ourselves:, What is the first voice we listen to in the morning? 

This principle isn't merely about self-discipline; it's deeply theological. In Matthew 6:21, Jesus teaches us that "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." What we give our attention to first and most frequently reveals and shapes what we treasure. When our children see us constantly drawn to our devices, we're inadvertently discipling them in what we truly value.(I’m preaching to myself here!)

Practically, we can fight this by finding ways to have fun together, apart from screens. In our household, for example, we love board games (Some of us love them, others tolerate them). So we often try to play board games together. It is amazing how board games reveal things about us. Even board games can provide discipleship moments. (Except Monopoly… that game is irredeemable.) 

The reality is that our digital habits form neural pathways that become increasingly difficult to redirect. This is why the Psalmist's commitment to "set no worthless thing before my eyes" (Psalm 101:3) speaks so powerfully to our digital age. As parents, we must recognize that screen use isn't neutral; it trains our desires and patterns of thought. Intentional habits and routines around screen use can help us and our children to guard our hearts and minds.

When establishing these rhythms feels challenging—and it will—remember that we're engaged in formation, not just restriction. Each time we choose Scripture before social media or family conversation before Netflix, we're actively participating in the Spirit's work of transformation described in Romans 12:2, refusing to be "conformed to this world" but instead being "transformed by the renewal of your mind."

III. Screens Must Serve, Not Master

One of the dangers of screens is that they can be tools that become masters. Instead of us using them, they capture us and enslave us. And one of the ways they can enslave us is by making us wish for what doesn’t exist or isn’t meant for us. 

Professor and author Alan Noble says, "The Christian life is not a call to escape the world but to live in it attentively, bearing witness to the truth." (Alan Noble, Disruptive Witness) We must teach our children to use screens sparingly, wisely, and purposely. Screens are meant to enhance creativity, learning, and spiritual growth—rather than becoming masters of our attention and desire.

This mastery over technology rather than by technology resonates with Christ's words in Mark 2:27 when He declared that "the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." Similarly, screens were made to serve humanity, not the other way around. When we find ourselves or our children unable to put devices down, responding emotionally to their absence, or experiencing "phantom vibrations" when they're not even present, we've moved from mastery to servitude.

In his alarming and well-researched book "The Anxious Generation," social psychologist Jonathan Haidt presents compelling evidence about how smartphone use and social media have contributed to a mental health crisis among today's youth. Haidt writes, "The smartphone rewired the lives of teenagers in ways that made them both more connected but less socially developed, more entertained but less happy, more informed but more anxious, never alone but rarely deeply connected." His research shows that Gen Z—the first generation raised with smartphones from childhood—has experienced dramatic increases in anxiety, depression, and self-harm that correlate directly with digital immersion. We will talk more about Haidt’s research in upcoming posts. 

Remember that Christ called us to be "in the world but not of the world" (John 17:14-19). Digital spaces are part of the world our children will navigate, but they shouldn't define or consume them. When children learn to use technology as a tool rather than turn to it as a comfort, distraction, or identity, they develop a Christ-centered perspective that will serve them throughout life.

The goal isn't to demonize technology but to domesticate it, to bring it under the lordship of Christ like every other area of life. As parents, we can demonstrate this by asking thoughtful questions before screen use:

• Will this strengthen or weaken my relationship with God and others?

• Is this enhancing my God-given purpose or distracting from it?

• Am I controlling this technology, or is it controlling me?

"The smartphone rewired the lives of teenagers in ways that made them both more connected but less socially developed, more entertained but less happy, more informed but more anxious, never alone but rarely deeply connected." Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation

Conclusion

As I close, I want to make sure it is clear that I am not advocating for an anti-screen position. At the time I am finishing this post, it’s Friday afternoon, so a time of playing video games with my kids is on the horizon. But by teaching our children to ask these questions and modeling healthy digital habits ourselves, we help them develop the spiritual muscles needed to navigate an increasingly screen-dominated world with wisdom and purpose. In doing so, we prepare them not just for technological discernment but for faithful Christian living in all aspects of life.

As we guide our children and ourselves in thoughtful, prayerful use of screens, we rely on God’s grace. Mistakes will happen, but each new day is an opportunity to grow wiser, shaping homes where Christ, not screens, occupies the center.”

Next week, we will look at how to teach our kids discernment in the Digital Age. I am excited to continue the research on this topic, as the primary goal of these blog posts is to help myself be a faithful parent in this area.